Hey everyone! I haven't updated for nearly a week! I accidently bagged myself a job and it's been really hectic and I have been juggling a million things. I will update properly as soon as I can. I'm so tired! Leanne xx
I have managed a week without pulling. Almost. I did pull one solitary eye lash the other night but that was out of habit and I quickly stopped myself from carrying on so I am not going to see that as a failure! This evening we (the family) are going to have a bbq on the beach! I have been craving a burger for aaaaaaaaaages! Not too much on the agenda at the moment. I am going to upload another picture later on. Although my hair doesn't actually look any different, I still think it's important to keep a record.
I must be the only person that doesn't like summer. It brings out the spiders, I have ridiculous hayfever making any trip outside unbearable and the heat! I appear to have the worlds sweatiest head! I know its largely due to wearing long, thick wigs but even people with long hair don't have shiny faces! I need to find a 'summer' wig, if there is such a thing. Something that is my style but is light and breathable. Bring on winter. I much prefer wrapping up warm and getting drenched in the rain! In slightly happier news, I have managed not to pull this last week!! My head hair doesn't actually look that much different in the space of a week but I can already see my eye lashes coming back :D
Good afternoon! I just finished my interview with AppleFM. I was so nervous I just rambled on and forgot what I was trying to say each time. I hope it turns out Ok. The man doing the interview was lovely though and very understanding! He is going to send e a copy of it later on today. Fingers crossed! :) Have an awesome day xx
There are finally enough people for a group! Yay!! Still looking for more people of course, but it's now time to find a venue and get this thing started! Despite feeling horrendously ill, I am mega pleased about this :) I hope you all have a brilliant day!
So this morning I rearranged my radio interview, had an email from a local woman with Dermotillomania with a daughter and neice with Trich, got offered a part time job and saw my daughter get her music award at school and it isn't 11am yet! I am feeling like today is going to be a good day and hopefully another pull free one. I haven't pulled at all for 3 days now. Even thought I am desperate to. Especially the fresh eye lashes that are making their slight appearance!
I still don't know how to post links properly here but https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sp5sV6caykY&index=1&list=UUtJB3NtTZKL86UsqB1PvbFg that will take you to my YouTube video :-s ! It's only about 30 seconds long but I thought that if I uploaded a short video once a week than it would be easier to see the difference. Whether that be that it's longer/fuller each time or that I have pulled etc. So, cringe!!! There it is.
It seems keeping busy is a huge help. I haven't pulled at all in 2 days as I have been wedding planning and window shopping and not giving myself any time to stop and think. That may not sounds too good but I would rather be growing hair each day than pulling it out. I am determined to have eye lashes on my wedding day too. In other news, there has been no response from the flyers we handed out last week :( Either no one has seen them or they have looked at my site and got bored and moved on. If that is the case then I don't know what to do. I will still keep trying and updating this blog with my ramblings :) Leanne xx
I don't know what to say apart from WOW! I just watched this video of hers on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiBIXMBEqgE (I don't know how to get links to appear properly on here so you'll have to copy and paste!) But yes, wow! She made this video a few years ago and she open talks about Trich. It's a very emotional video to watch and I was in floods of tears myself. Seeing someone be so brave, honest and frank about it really touched me. What an amzing woman!! She has raised so much awareness lately and anyone reading this that has Trichotillomania will no how unbelievably hard it is to talk openly about it. I couldn't do all the things she is doing! If you haven't seen the video then please take a look.
Today has been a good day. Despite pulling all of my eye lashes out the other night and feeling down about it since, I have perked up. Yesterday was a great day and today has followed suit. My wedding date has been set and confirmed for March 28th 2015 and things are falling in to place. I presume it is because of this happy news that I haven't even thought about pulling up until the second I typed that. So yay! My dream would be to have my own hair for my wedding day rather than wearing a wig but I don't think there is enough time to grow it out, although maybe, just maybe it would be long enough for me to just use a hair piece. So this will be my goal between now and then, to stop pulling and give it everything I have so that I don't need to wear a full wig on the day of my wedding. This gives me just over 8 months. I think i can do it. In other news, no word from the leaflets me and Ruby handed out yesterday but it's only been 24 hours and a couple of places needed to check with other people before confirming they would put them up, so it is still early days! Have a great weekend!! Leanne xxxx
At 12.20 today I met Ruby. She is lovely! Bubbly and down to Earth she is quite possibly one of the nicest and most genuine people I have met. We had a drink and then walked around town finding places that would either put a flyer advertising this site and potential support group in the window or a stack to put on the side somewhere. There were no people that refused but a few that would only put them in the staff room, however, there are still enough around that people may see them and there is always time to place more around places like doctors surgeries
Today I am meeting up with a lovely young lady called Ruby. This will be the first time I have met someone else with Trich and I am both excited and nervous! We are going to hand out some flyers (if there are any shops willing to put them up) and have a coffee :) I will post about it later on! Have a great day!!
I keep seeing the video Rebecca Brown has posted online. Obviously I think she is amazing for doing what she did but a lot of the places on the net that are sharing it are saying how brave she is, but then not explaining what it is about. One place I saw it, it just said underneath "brave woman takes a selfie a day for 6 years" and that's it. There is no further information. Another place said she pulls her hair when she is anxious and nothing further. There are also a lot of comments that are less than pleasant, but I think whenever someone makes a brave move to say 'Look! I do something unusual and I want to raise awareness', there are always people there to bring you down. However, the video is getting people talking and so hopefully people are becoming more aware of this. I think Rebecca Brown is in the movie 'Trichster' which looks to be great and amazing. The trailer alone had me feeling quite emotional so I can't wait to see the full film. If you don't know about this, then check them out! Trichstermovie is on Facebook and Twitter :)
I haven't been feeling well over the last couple of days. I don't know whether this is a factor or it's just coincidence but last night I pulled...a lot! I saw my tweezers and reached for them and for the next half an hour or so, I was like a zombie. This has just happened again today. I picked up my tweezers and that was that. I was aware I had started, I knew I should stop but I just couldn't. Each time I put the tweezers down I just picked them straight up again. This finally came to a natural end and I looked around me and saw my hairs everywhere. When I had long hair, it was like this all the time. If you put your hand on any piece of carpet in my house, you would find my hair. (I hoover 3 times a day too) So it's brought back all kinds of miserable memories for me too. I don't know why it has gotten this bad again but I am going to bin the tweezers. If they aren't here then I can't use them and my hair is too short for me to get at with my hands. I felt like I was in a better place and things were starting to sort themselves out and clearly, I have hit some kind of a snag. I would love to only post positive things here, but it would be pointless as it wouldn't be a true account of someone dealing with Trichotillomania. So here is my tale of TrichTerror for this afternoon! I hope those of you reading this are having a better day and if you aren't, then just remember that tomorrow is a new day as there is no reason that you/we can't start again. Leanne xxx
Good evening! Over the past few days I have been exchanging emails with a few people and one of these is from my town! She is lovely and a real inspiration to all of us. The way she has been dealing with Trichotillomania is amazing, and she just radiates positivity! I look forward to getting to know her further and also any more of you that are out there. I know you are and I am still trying to find you :)
http://tonefm.co.uk/listen/dont-pull-2/ This is the link to the interview I did on ToneFM last week. I can't listen to it myself as I can't stand the sound of my own voice, I wish I could re do it but here it is!
Hey everyone! One thing I have learnt about Trich is that we all manage it differently, but we all hide it! Even if we are more open about it now, we have gone to great lengths to hide it from others in the past. Some of us still aren't fully honest about it with our families! You are all so strong. It is a lot to deal with and not only that but we all have other things going on in our lives that we battle through. I haven't heard a story about Trich yet that involves someone being happy and content from day one and just happening to pull out their hair. I still stand by the fact that support group would benefit us all. We all need someone to share our thoughts and feelings with and this is why I won't give up on this.It's odd for me too because as much as I am being public with all of this, even going on the radio!, I have huge anxieties about someone I know, knowing it's me and judging me for it! It's so silly and I hope you all have a great weekend and can find the strength to be pull free. Even if you can only stop yourselves once today. That's still a success!
Hello to all new visitors! Please do not feel put off by the blandness of the site! I am working on it! Please do feel free to read and scroll through my ramblings! :) xxx
Trichophagia is the chewing or eating of hair follicles, and some times even the whole hair. From research I have found that only around 4% of Trichotillomania sufferers have Trichophagia as well. I am wondering how accurate this is. I know admitting you pull your hair our can be awkward and embarrassing for people and so admitting that you also eat or chew part of the hair is another step or two beyond that. It isn't something that I would tell just anyone. I have no scientific proof but I am convinced the figure is considerably higher than just 4%. This is yet another reason for me to try and raise awareness. I don't want people feeling alone!
Today I received an email from another local girl with Trichotillomania as a result of my radio interview! I am extremely pleased as it means that what I am trying to do is starting to work! There is hope yet! I am also doing a second radio interview with another station sometime very soon so fingers crossed! It's great to hear from those of you that have contacted me, so thank you all :) xx
I didn't go to the self help group this morning. It started at 10.30 and because I couldn't find the place straight away I got there 10 minutes late and couldn't face walking in when they'd already started. So I feel a bit rubbish about that but I will make sure I leave earlier next week and obviously I now know where the place is. I had my interview at a local radio station. I got through it OK! But I am not worried that as it was quiet upbeat, laid back and a few jokes were made, that it may put people off. The last thing I want is to offend other people with Trich. I hope it doesn't come across in the wrong way. I really want people to come forward. So today was a mixed bag really! Leanne xx
I am getting ready to go to an Anxiety self help group and yes, I am anxious about it! I have been desperately trying to talk myself out of going all morning but thankfully, my partner is here so he is going to walk me there to make sure I go in! I then go straight from there to the radio interview which I am even more nervous about. The last thing I want is to make Trichotillomania sound silly or give out inaccurate facts. I hope it all goes OK and will update this afternoon!
This afternoon was going OK. Went to watch sports day which was fun, then collected my daughter and we went to the supermarket. As soon as I got inside I started shaking. I immediately felt like I needed to leave but tried to shrug it off as we needed something for dinner tonight. It felt like everyone in the shop was rushing by me and glaring at me as they went even though I know they probably weren't. It all went wrong when I was using the self service checkout. I had far too much shopping but there were only 2 proper lanes open and the queues were ridiculous so I decided against using those. My pushchair was overloaded with shopping and there were so many people there that I started to feel really Claustrophobic. It all got too much and I just burst into hysterical tears whilst everyone was just staring at me. I picked up my things and got out of there as fast as I could. I don't know why that happened or where it came from but I am very glad to be home. Leanne x
Good morning! There isn't much to report this morning but I wanted to say hello to everyone that is reading this and let you know that I have replied to those of you that have contacted me. Obviously those replies go to your email address :) Today I am going to be continuing to work on the 'book' that I am writing and this afternoon I will be cheering on my daughter at sports day. Hope you all have a lovely day. Leanne xx